Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The First Encounter..

The first encounter... The first encounter with my son was the ending to an anticipated labor, but the beginning of my family with my husband. As a first time expectant mother, I was scared, nervous and excited, while I awaited "the day" that Pierre would make his grand entrance. I spent hours and hours beseeching the Lord, asking Him to calm my fears, and that is exactly what He did!

Let me begin by telling you what the Lord has done from the very beginning. He has been moving by His Spirit since the day we conceived. When I found out I was pregnant, I also found that I have 3 uterine fibroids. For a woman, uterine fibroids could mean that she MAY not be able to carry children or experience difficulties in the labor. A few weeks after finding this out, the doctor then told me, that although she had previously told me I was pregnant, the baby had no heart beat; that I was experiencing a miscarriage OR the baby's gestational age was calculate incorrectly. After hearing this news, my husband and I told our Pastor and began to seek the Lord more intensely. I just wanted my baby. I remember coming home from choir rehearsal and taking a shower. I was sitting in the shower quietly crying so that my husband would not hear me. My heart was so overwhelmed that my quiet tears turned into full blown sobs. I recalled to my mind the account of Hannah and how she went before the Lord asking Him for a man child. The Lord eventually gave Hannah Samuel, and she gave Samuel back to the Lord. I sat in the shower crying for so long, that the water got cold. I wanted my baby. I begged the Lord, asking Him to work a miracle. I honestly felt so low, but I did tell the Lord that if my child was not there, that I still wanted to serve him. I did not want to give up on the Lord because of a broken heart. I knew the Lord was able. I know He gives life. I stood on Hannah's testimony and waited for the doctor's results.

I went back to the doctor's office 2 weeks later and there was Pierre's heartbeat nice and strong. I cried. I wept before the Most High God. He is a miracle worker.

The Lord is able. He worked this miracle for me! Is there anyone who needs a miracle? Are you asking the Lord to do something "big" for you? Well, there is NOTHING too big for the Lord! The blessings and miracles do not stop here....but you will have to come back and read my next post! I will tell you about how God blessed my labor and delivery and explain my first encounter with my first born!

Thanks for reading! :)
Be blessed

Wednesday, February 26, 2014 found in prayer!

It has been weeks since I have posted on this blog. My last post spoke the anxiety of a new mother going back to work. Since then I have attempted to thrust myself back into what was a "normal" lifestyle for me. A few weeks later followed by a couple of tears, I realized that adjusting may not have been as easy as I thought. I will be honest with you all, being a first time mother is wonderful, yet it does not come without new trials, new worries and maybe a new set of tears.

Today was my day off from work, and I laid in the bed nursing my 4 month old during my regular noon day prayer time. As guilty as I felt for not getting up and going to the house of the Lord to pray, I quietly talked to the Lord, while my son nursed and then slept beside me. "...Lord, I have so much to do...I have to cook and clean and take care of Pierre before my husband gets home...I just want to sleep..." I then heard the Spirit tell me that although it was ok and needful for me to rest, the very last thing that I should cut from my schedule is prayer. I know the Holy Spirit spoke. I began to tell the Lord of how different I am as a person when I am not constant and consistent in prayer. The life of a wife and a mother may be busy, but the need for prayer and communion with the Lord will never change. Sunday morning, my first lady preached saying "In the winter wear a the summer take it off....If the season in your life changes, go with it. The Lord will not cause it to snow always. If you are a new mother...take care of your child, love them and hold them. Seasons change but one thing that will remain the same is the Lord and the need for us to pray."

When things get rough for us the enemy will tell us not to pray! He will tell us that we are too tired, to busy, too angry....too ANYTHING is what he will say! the enemy never tells us that this is when we should be in prayer even the more! the devil is a liar and he has been one from the beginning! My encouragement today is to keep praying! No matter what keep communing with the Lord...because the time is drawing nigh for our dear Savior's return!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Back to work postpartum...

I actually did it!

Today was the first real day back to work. I must admit that my heart was crushed as I nursed my son waiting for daddy to wake him up and take him to his care giver. I thank God that his caregiver is a trusted friend (big sister), who is also saved and has wonderful children of her own! She has raised her children in the house of The Lord and it truly shows. With this being said the separation from my son was no longer a worry about his safety. I fully trust that's she will take care of my boy. My concern became a matter of me deeply missing my son!
...I laid on the couch after my husband took him, seriously missing his little body cuddled there with me. I missed hearing him breathe and coo in his sleep. I am only part time, so my husband opted to take our son to the care giver's, allowing me to get some rest, only waking to pump to keep up my milk supply. I laid there feeling almost abandoned and helpless... Yes, I truly felt this way! This was the first time that Pete ( my son) had ever left the house without me! I asked The Lord to comfort me and before I knew it I was sound asleep...  Waking to the sound of my alarm telling me not to be late to work.....

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Part-time mommy??

Unfortunately I cannot shake the fact that I must return back to my part-time job. This is  a mere fact that I have to learn to accept...and very quickly...

After just 7 short weeks of maternity leave, I am forced to be thrust back into the working sector. Being denied an extra 6 weeks under FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) due to being short 6 hours of the requirements, I am sad to say I AM returning to work.

I was never fully aware of the disadvantage mothers have by only being allowed the standard 6 weeks from their employment with job security. Now, at the age of 26, having my first child my eyes are wide open to the failure that I find in the world's system. I just had a baby...I JUST HAD A BABY...who now, unable to receive his first set of vaccines (cannot receive them until he is two months old), has to go during flu season, to a care provider while mommy goes back to work. My biggest fear isn't him catching a cold though. So what is it you ask? I am afraid to become a PART-TIME mommy!

While working part-time, I can't help but to imagine that there are only so many PARTS in my life. How in the world will I be able to be a full time mommy working outside of the home, while he is in daycare all day, most days. Hmmm...NOW I see why moms stay home (amongst many other reasons I am sure).
I can already tell that this transition is going to take a lot of prayer and fasting (the praying I can do, but the fasting I will have to leave up to my husband considering that I am nursing).

My question is...why is the standard only 6 weeks? I do understand that businesses have a business to run, but isn't anyone concerned with parents bonding with their children? These children are going to be the next citizens in our world. It may sound dramatic but this could be the difference between a law abiding citizen and a rebellious fugitive, all because the child never got to bond with their parents. For paternity leave my husband got 10 whole days... (LOL). Although the time did seem minimal I do thank and bless God for it, considering I have heard and read of people in the workforce not granted maternity leave at all, which to me is absurd! But hey, the Lord knows all things! ...

Mommies out there...tell me how you feel! Are you back in the work force or have you chosen to stay home? No way is right or wrong!

Feel free to comment!
God Bless!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalms 139:14...

Ok so...Literally my heart beats outside of my body...Well no I am not in any physical distress, except that of motherhood.

... I cannot go hours without seeing and interacting with my son, and when I do, I am craving to spend another minute with him! What is this? Fortunately for us our God strategically planned all of this in the beginning... (When he created all things by and for Jesus Christ -Colossians 1:16). Besides the fact that I know and believe this to be true, there is also science to support this fact! The bible is right and it seems that scientist are always trying to find the how of the mysteries of God...not all will admit it, but this is primarily because the Lord considered every single detail when creating all things, even us.

...Let us talk about Oxytocin...Oxytocin is a chemical hormone released in the body at specific times to create specific feelings within our minds. I learned one day in a Princess of Purity seminar (....another topic for another day, but simply a seminar given by Holy Spirit filled woman in regards to our purity and sanctification before our God...) that when we hug a person for more than a few minutes this hormone, Oxytocin, is released and we immediately feel bonded to that person. I learned this fact in this seminar, but there are loads of scientific research that supports this! Really...go look it up for yourself! This hormone is commonly called the "Love Hormone." hmmm....unsurprisingly this is the same hormone released in the body during child birth to contract the uterus and more importantly for today, it is the same hormone released when a woman nurses (breastfeeds) her child. WOW! With this being said, every time I nurse my son I am, without my control, being psychologically and intensely glued to him. God worked it so that I could not only supply food for my son, but also security! While I am feeling deeply connected and attached to my son, he is experiencing the same feelings. Oxytocin...look it up...It is real and it was God's way of making sure that our maternal instinct to nurture would be implemented.

I am not confused about my role as a woman. I know that I am the weaker vessel and that I am THE nurturer. This is not to say that my husband will not or cannot nurture because this is not true, but there is something in a mommy that just does the trick! Well, I am off to go cuddle with my with them some more... be sure to do your own research on oxytocin! If you are anything like me, you will enjoy reading about the hormone and just how and when it works! Leave me any comments or questions... The Lord is good.. :) God Bless

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Day one of many...

Hey there...Yes you...I am glad that you are visiting my blog and reading my first post. I am 6 weeks postpartum  so yes, I have a 6 week old son! I thank the Lord for my husband and my son. This is our first child and I must say that I enjoy being a mommy! The way your child looks at you, you can tell without words that they love every bit of you. Babies are not like the rest of us. No matter what I look like, or think of myself my son looks at me like I mean the world to him. Right now he thinks that I am supplying all of his needs, and in a sense he is right, but each day I tell him who is REALLY supplying his needs! The Lord our God is taking care of us...I sing praises unto God and read the word to my son hoping and praying that I successfully do what the bible says, and "train him up in the way that he should go, so that when he is older he won't depart from it." I want this blog to glorify God, and share with the world, my world living a holy, saved and sanctified life before God. God Bless you annnnnnnd ENJOY! <3